Okay, I'm over it. After another not so great night of sleep the stress is gone. Repairs just need to be made.
Braylon came into our room just as I was finally unwinding enough to go to sleep; it was 1 am. He came in because he missed me. After an hour of chats and carrying him back to his bed 3 times he was finally out. I was back laying in bed trying to fall asleep and Aiden woke up and did not fall back asleep on his own. It was 2:30 am and I was so tired but I got back up and went to him. He had a dirty diaper [which he never does overnight] and was in pain. I changed him by the light of the fire and then spent 30 minutes sitting on the floor holding him, loving his soft baby skin and his sweetness.
3 am. Everyone is in bed, all of my boys sleeping soundly and this keeps running through my head.
I don't want my focus to be on being a better woman tomorrow than today but on being a better woman today than I was yesterday. The prior gives an out - an excuse to be less than you should be in the present. The later, motivation to be more.