Tuesday, October 12, 2010

there's nothing more painful than seeing your child injured

I'm having a really hard day. I'm trying to be a productive mother, wife and employee when all I want to do is have an hour to curl up on my bed and cry. Its hard to let as powerful an emotion as absolute fear wind down when there is so much going on.


We were able to make a quick weekend trip to meet up with some of our awesome SLC friends at Bear Lake. We were all super excited to hang out, catch up and play! as much as we could in a condensed time frame. and we did. We had a ton of fun; we also experienced the most painful moment as parents we have had to face yet. I'll get to the fun, maybe tonight or tomorrow, but the pain of what was and could have been deserves its own moment.

We decided to spend some time at a nearby pool with hot tubs. The large pool has a waterslide that the boys loved going down as fast as they could at first - slowing themselves midway - and coming to a stop at the bottom so they didn't actually fly into the pool even though the Dad's were waiting to catch them each time. The first time Braylon went to go up the ladder-type stairs after he was already wet his foot slipped off the first step and he stubbed his toe. Ouch, but not too bad.

The boys took turns going down, so did the dads... It was a lot of fun and laughs. Bray and his buddy Jamie went to splash around in the 1 foot kids pool for a little break so Kyle came over to the hot tub where I was chatting with the moms. I had Aiden strapped to me in his carrier for a nap but KB rolled my jeans up so I could soak my feet in the nice water. He got in and we were all perfectly relaxed.

Braylon wanted to slide again so he ran from the kids pool, in front of the hot tub, heading towards the slide. Both Kyle and I called to him to remind him again not to run by a pool. He started climbing the slide and I looked away because it made me nervous. I'm not sure how I'll really deal with that admission within myself for a long time. Next thing I know I hear a horrible thud, screaming, a look of terror on my friends face. Split second later I'm seeing my son on the concrete bleeding screaming in pain.

I yelled at Kyle to "Go!" and he was already on his way. Braylon's feet slipped off the ladder on the second to top stair which put him 5 or 6 feet up, he hit a stair while falling which rotated his body backwards head first, making the point of contact the right side of his forehead. His neck snapped over caring his body slamming into the ground. I know those details because two of our friends saw it all and couldn't believe it.

We got the blood stopped; the only flowing blood was from his nose. We all grabbed our things drove back to our friends place to get the number for the clinic where our friend got the oncall doctor to rush over and followed our amazing friends to the clinic.

The doctor was great, extremely nice and considerate to our fears and talked to us about everything in a lit of detail. We are extremely blessed that Braylon is still 4 and that children that age are still so resilient. The doctor explained that if Bray's fall had happened to an adult, there would have been a broken neck and death. Braylon has a grade 2 concussion some brain bruising and his entire face is incredibly swollen scraped up down one side. He had an enormous gooseegg at the point of contact but that is starting to go down a little - as the swelling seems to be increasing across the rest of his forehead and bridge of his nose and eye lids.

Braylon has had more accidents in his short lifetime than I ever thought I would have to deal with, but this was by far the worst. The potential for what could have been the result haunts me. Seeing the swollen face of my prescious son that is my heart makes me sick. but, its made me really think about what words I use when thinking about it. At first I just said, we are so lucky, but it was luck, the whole situation sucked. So fortunate? No because it was not fortune. I really, truely feel blessed that Braylon was watched over and protected from what could have been an extremely horrible accident.

We let Braylon fall asleep as soon as we left the clinic and Kyle woke him up 15 minutes later - at the doctor's advice - to make sure he knew who we were. After his long nap he was ready to play again with his buddies

Putting him to bed that night he told me he wished I would have caught him when he fell.  I promised him that I would make sure I would be there to catch him from then on. He then asked me, what if after a couple of days I forget and am not there. I assured him again that as long as I'm there nothing would keep me from catching him. Our nerves are starting to settle down today and Brays swelling is slowly going down as both of his eyes are getting a little more black and blue but he's playing as always - just a little more wobbly.

Kyle and I are also honored to have the amazing friends we do - they were all there with us, barefoot, swimsuit clad and as concerned as we were. Thank you all so much, it still makes me tear up with gratitude that you were there with us. Even Rees who had no idea what all the commotion was.

Thanks to Jess for pool pictures.


Nike said...

Seriously ... thank GOD for the angels watching over Bray that day. I hate those moments and the anguish that Mom's go through when we have to face that, despite our best efforts, there are moments when we "fail" our kids. And that sucks and rips our hearts out. You are an awesome Mom with a great family at the end of a really crappy day. So, so glad Bray is okay. Hope you feel better soon, too.

Lacey McKay said...

Oh my gosh! Poor Braylon! After reading the title, I knew it was going to be a hard post to read. It's probably a blessing you turned away, so you wouldn't be haunted with flashbacks of the fall. I'm so glad to hear he wasn't hurt worse than he was!

Jess said...

I have to agree with Lacey. I'm glad you turned away. We love you guys.